I noticed that several of you have "rushed" representations of African American males and females. Your writings provide representations of language (e.g., goonies) and images (e.g., she had a nice body). What impressions do your representations leave? Are you taking "care" as a writer to shape lasting representations? I want you to be honest and fearless with your pens, but I also want you to be extremely thoughtful and protect your agenda.
Let's think about our representations in our writing. Essentially, the representations you provide will dictate how you are viewed in the world's imagination.
8 comments:
Jhaylin Benson
My Brother, Good Old Jamie
Shep, where do I begin with him? He is a pain in my neck. He is way more immature, yet he is 10 years my senior. The guy is a no- good junkie, but there are a lot of good things about my family. We live in a nice house. My parents work hard to maintain that house. My father, Dante works everyday at a local car dealership selling cars. My mother stays home to look after the house, and she sells trinkets when she can. The family has been through a lot, but we always pull together to get through any sort of hard times. I have two older brothers: Jamie and Timothy. I also have a spoiled little sister named Lisa. She is always in my business, and she always gets her way, but I can never stay mad at her. We always called Timothy: Shep. My brother, Jamie, has been away in Iraq for a couple of months, and he is not coming back anytime soon. I hold some resentment for Jamie because he left us to fight in a wasteful war. However, I understand that he loves to fly planes, and I will always respect his wish. I know that the family can hold out without him. Day after day, I sneak up to the roof of an abandoned building down the block and write some music. The rooftop provides a nice, quiet spot for me to block everything from my mind, and work on some music. The only people I dare to hear me play my guitar or hear me sing are my parents, and my little sister: Lisa, and my best friend Billy. Everything about our family seems normal. Sure, we have our problems: Lisa snitching on me, Jamie being away in war, mom working too hard, and Shep’s often drug abuse.
Shep was only into light drugs, but he was starting new things. However, he was not always into drugs. He used to be a great student, but he dropped out after he started to experiment with drugs. Shep would always be the responsible one, and he never cheated anyone, but the drugs changed him. He became a lazy bum with no goals in life. I would’ve died to get the old Shep back for the entire family’s sake. We were just not the same without the old Shep.
One day, as I was walking down my street, headed towards my personal hideout, I saw a very strange car pull up in front of the abandoned building on the corner. I noticed that the car was not from around here because the plates were from Missouri. I stopped short of the building so I could see what the guys coming out of the car were up to. I counted two of them.
“This looks like a good spot,” One of the guys said.
“ Yeah, we should be out of hurr quick with it,” One of the shorter guys said.
I wondered as what actually was going on here. As the two entered the building, I decided to climb the low two-flat building from behind. As I ran around the back of the building, I made my way towards the fire escape. I easily climbed up the fire escape, and looked for a decent spot for me to watch what the two guys were doing.
“Peanut, we could keep the boi, Black, up in here. Nobody would find dirty ‘cuz of the smell. It’s like a hundred cats up in hurr,” The taller one said as he talked to the smaller one.
“Yeah, but you need to drag the body up in here,” Peanut argued.
“Why you aint gone help, Nut,” the taller one argued back.
“ Look at you man, you like three times my size. What the hell I’m gone do, Kp?” Peanut shot back at the taller man.
After about 5 minutes of arguing from Peanut and KP, they both went back outside to get the body. I went to the edge of the builiding so I could see what was going on. I saw the two men carry out Black from the trunk, and drag him into the abandoned building. I went back to my cracked window, and I saw them dump the body into the house’s old fireplace. I gasped, and KP heard me.
“Ayo Nut what the fuck was that?” He asked nervously.
“I don’t know,” Peanut replied, and I held in another gasp.
Part 1
Part 2
After about 5 minutes of arguing from Peanut and KP, they both went back outside to get the body. I went to the edge of the builiding so I could see what was going on. I saw the two men carry out Black from the trunk, and drag him into the abandoned building. I went back to my cracked window, and I saw them dump the body into the house’s old fireplace. I gasped, and KP heard me.
“Ayo Nut what the fuck was that?” He asked nervously.
“I don’t know,” Peanut replied, and I held in another gasp.
The duo argued a little more, and I decided to get out of there. I got up from my crouching position, and I crushed a can as I stood up. Peanut and KP must’ve noticed.
Soon after, he took out a small, black revolver, and shot in my direction above his head. The bullets flew right past my foot, and I ran. I jumped down the fire escape, and I got away from the bullets to escape to my backyard.
That day tormented for weeks, and I decided to tell nobody. I did not know who these guys were or whom they were working for, so I wanted to take no chances. My new spot became my basement. I could be by myself until I found suitable spot for writing music and relaxing. Soon, I started to move out to an empty tree near my house. This tree provided shade, and the stars looked amazing in the night sky. However, the family seemed to be falling apart because Shep was getting involved with the wrong type of people. I always knew that Shep was into lighter drugs, but my parents suspected he had recently gotten into harder drugs. I did not want to give up on Shep, but I would soon learn that trusting him would turn out to be a mistake.
That is when tragedy hit my family and me. My older brother, Shep, decided he wanted to run away from home. My father seemed almost happy to see him go because he was tired of Shep stealing and getting in trouble. I, on the other hand, wanted Shep back, and I was going to look for my big brother.
I would need help on this adventure, so I asked Billy to help, and he agreed. The first place I decided to look for him was his hangout near an abandoned playground. I knew that most of the drug users from the school hung there, so it seemed to be a logical start. I made my way to the playground, and I started to shake as smoke filled my lungs. I spotted one of my brother’s friends: Poot. I walked over towards Poot, and I decided to question him.
“Aye, what’s up with you dude?” Poot greeted as we shook hands.
“Nothing, just looking for my brother. You know where he might be at?” I asked Poot.
“Yeah, he cribbing with me at my place,” Poot responded.
This was going to be easier than I thought. There was no way that Shep would stay away from me. He was only at Poot’s, so I could go and see him anytime I wanted. He did not run away from home; Shep finally grew up and moved out.
“Can you tell him that that the door is always open at our house,” I said as I started to leave.
“Aight, I got you, dude,” Poot said as me and Billy walked away from the playground.
Months went by and Jamie finally got back from Iraq. Nevertheless, he was not the same. He seemed distant, and he had developed a dark opinion about the Arabs and Afghanis. I knew the war would change him, but I did not know that he would become a withdrawn, dark, racist. The family told him about Shep, and Jamie did not react the way I expected him to. He pulled me aside one day to urge me to get Shep back.
“We should go and try to find him,” Jamie urged me.
“I know where he at; he living with Poot now,” I explained to Jamie.
“What?!” Jamie yelled.
“He with Poot now, what’s so wrong with that?” I asked as I took a step backwards.
“He a dope fiend. How could you be so stupid!” he yelled once more.
Part 3
I then, got up and left the room because I was a little afraid. However, I did not fully understand at the time why Jamie was so worried. There was nothing to be scared of Shep was smart enough to steer clear of hard drugs. He would always tell me that lightweight drugs were okay, but the harder ones were addictive. These were the ones that he would stay clear of. Besides, Shep and Jamie we never close, so Jamie reacting with such emotion struck me as interesting.
Later that night, I was pulled aside by Jamie.
“Get dressed,” was all Jamie said as he walked off outside the house.
I knew better than to keep Jamie waiting, so I got dressed and headed out the door. I left the house about five minutes later, and we walked to Poot’s house.
“Wait right here,” Jamie explained as he walked into the house.
I had not intentions on staying right there. Therefore, I went around to the side of the house, and I found a spot I could see the living room at. As I looked inside I instantly recognized both Peanut and KP from a few months ago. I shook as I saw an intense scene. A doped up Shep was yelling at Poot, and I could not make out what was being said. I moved to an opened window, and I was able to hear what was being said.
“My brother is coming home,” Jamie was saying calmly.
“Nawh, these dudes owe us some money,” Peanut said loudly.
“I’m not scared of neither one of you two clowns,” Jamie shot back at Peanut.
“Bet you scared of this,” Peanut said smugly as he drew his black revolver.
“Please, don’yt shoot my brother,” Shep cried. “It’s me that you want. He ain’t got nothing to do with it.”
I crouched as I sweated this was terrible. Peanut was now going to shoot my brother. I could see it in his eyes; he was out for blood. I could do nothing to stop this.
“Alright how much to pay for this?” Jamie asked quietly.
“800,” KP responded.
My brother pulled out the money, and he hugged Shep as they left the house with Shep’s clothes in hand. I ran around to the front of the house, and we all walked back to our house. I was mad at Shep. How could he do that to us? He nearly had gotten Jamie shot, and Jamie still loved him. At that moment, all I could think of his was a no good dope fiend. Shep was lucky that he had us. Poot was all by himself, and now he was dead.
My brothers were never the same after that day. Jamie had to go back to Iraq, and Shep ended up getting his life back together and sobering up. Him turning over a new leaf was a great repayment to Jamie. Shep had proved that his life was worth saving. Next time that Jamie comes back home, the Good Old Shep will greet him, the one we all grew to love.
Untitled
The church pews are daunting thing, like comfortable firing blocks. Carved images of the holy trinity glared at me as my family and I walked towards the pulpit. Normally, I hate dressing formally for any occasion. Not being able to move my head more than 45 degrees gets aggravating for a while, but whatever my mother said looked good for God, was good enough for me. If he was real I would ask him why I couldn’t just wear cargo shorts and a polo for him, considering all he wore was a toga. We took our place in the front row as Pastor Hapke stood at the altar, greeting the families as they walked through the entrance. He seemed distraught over something, he’s usually much more flagrant and chipper, but I had a feeling something wasn’t settling well with him.
Everyone took their seats. There’s an eerie silence resting over everything once Pastor Hapke acknowledges the crowd. He’s uncomfortable attitude radiated over everyone. I could see how they all looked so worried for him. I never understood how so many people could relate to one man so accurately, however he felt, they felt. Whatever he felt, they felt. He lifted his head.
Nearly every day since he’s been here – hardly about four months now – Louis wondered if it really was a good idea to come here, if it was right to even have Yale on his college list. At the time, it seemed like a grand idea: he had received his acceptance letter and his parents had thrown the largest party he had ever witnessed, even bigger than their wedding renewal. All of his related family members, his friends, even his coach from seventh grade who always encouraged him to aim high had arrived, and they all gave him presents. He had never felt so happy in his life: he had finally achieved his high school dream of being accepted to a good college, and he actually had the money to get there, thanks to long hours of researching scholarships and receiving grants. Louis leaned back in his chair and glanced at his watch, the one his dad passed to him while they were driving to Conneticut, and saw that it read Mon, 11:06 P.M.
He rubbed his eyes and looked back to his 1 ½ page essay, which needed to be at least three pages longer if Professor Langues was going to accept it. Louis was completely blank. He had already asked his friends for ideas on discussing the federal minimum wage, and they only had so much to offer. Louis put his elbows on the table and dropped his face into his hands. He didn’t know what to do now. His representative from the Affirmative Action Plan told him to aim for the highest colleges he could go, and Louis gladly followed his words and made a bold advance for Yale University; however, now that he was already failing one course and dangerously close to failing yet two others, he wondered if it were advantageous to have just gone to Augustana College. His professors here were sincere, but the class work alone was far more than Louis felt he could handle. He absentmindedly typed in whatever came to mind about ways to change the wage, then he closed his laptop. If he couldn’t get a couple more pages in by Wednesday, he’d just have to beg the professor to at least give him late credit. Louis groaned; this was happening far too often, and he didn’t know how long his teachers were willing to put up with it.
“Get anything done?” Janice asked, her head slightly cocked to the side.
Louis lazily lifted his head and rubbed his eyes, then looked across the lunch table. “A page and some. You?” He answered, and he wasn’t surprised when she grimaced and shrugged. “Nothin’ too? Well, I’d give you a high five, now that I’m assured I’m not the only one, but I need the energy to get back to the Science room.” He managed to put a small smirk on his face, and Janice lit up with her infamous bright smile before laughing. Louis didn’t know how, but just seeing that look gave him some energy for the day.
“All night long, I just couldn’t think of what to put down. It seemed so easy back in high school, but now the professors want evidence on top of evidence that’s already mixed in with evidence.” Janice said, absentmindedly twirling her spaghetti with a fork.
Louis huffed. “Man, I didn’t even know college would be this hard. All I was told was that I do my homework, pay attention in class, have fun each night, and I’d get through in no time. Now, we’re both trying to do that, but both fun and success are light years away.”
Janice’s shoulders dropped. “Well, it’s not like I really have an option to fail. My folks told me as soon as I got the letter that I would stand to represent all the blacks out there who tried and failed to make it into law, so I’d have to bust my butt.”
“Didn’t Professor Langues say something about that? About percentages of passing law students or something like that?”
“He sure did.” Janice and Louis turned to Sven, who placed his lunch on the table and then slightly leaned, mimicking Professor Langues old voice. “’ Ahem, students. Take care to realize that there are twenty of you in here, and according to these statistics,” Sven waived an imaginary paper in the air, “only thirteen of you will pass the bar exam on the first try. Sixteen of you will eventually pass it.’”
“He was looking right at us as he said it too, like he expected us to fail,” Janice mumbled, now poking her peas on the plate.
The table then fell silent, each student in his or her own thought. Louis thought back to his grades. He didn’t want to admit it, but it seemed that Professor Langues was right in looking at them. All three of them were either close to or already failing his class, and Louis had even approached him two weeks ago to ask if he thought Louis really would be able to pass his class. The professor didn’t say much at the time, but the next day he handed Louis a list of other colleges that had law classes, and then lectured on the Affirmative Action Plan and whether or not it was indeed beneficial to the ethnicities it claimed to have supported. Louis could still feel those slips of paper in his backpack. He only took a glance at them, but perhaps it was time to actually look through them and consider alternatives to Yale.
He gave a long sigh, and Janice looked up to him with a slight frown on her face. Louis answered with a sigh and a shrug. If he actually decided to give up on Yale and go somewhere else, he’d make sure to tell his friends about it first and see if he really was making the right decision. He’d given Yale too much effort and too many chances for his grades to turn around, and now was high time to consider if it was worth staying at a prestigious school or trying his luck elsewhere.
Changing lanes
“Mom the game is on!” I yelled.
“Comin!”
It was play offs season and the family was rooting for the Chicago Bulls. I was so excited because my idol, Derrick Rose, took his team all the way to the playoffs. We were watching the game cheering the Bulls on. Those were the times when I wanted to play pro ball. Later on in life I changed my mind because of something big happened three week later.
2 weeks later,
“ I want everybody to stand up and tell me what they want to be when they grow up,” My teacher said
Everybody stood up and gave what they wanted to be and the teacher would tell their chances. When it came around to me I simply said:
“I wanna be a ball player”
“ Do you, Michael?”
“Yeah”
“Did you know that’s exactly what the government would expect from you? They think black men have a natural instinct to just be everybody’s entertainment. These are the things they never tell you. Only 1% of the people that try for the NBA actually get in.”
“I don’t care about all that. I’m a real good ball player I’m gonna be in that 1% How bout that?” I retorted
I felt disrespected and infuriated the whole day and then when the day was over I went to practice playing ball.
1 week later,
The day was over in a flash. I was happy about it to. I was still mad at the teacher for dashing my hopes so bogusly. Plus, my dad was picking me up to day so we can go to the park to play ball. As I was sitting down I saw my dad’s car 2 blocks away. Then I heard some gunshots and everybody got down. When it stopped I got up and looked at the scene. I saw my dad’s car in a wall.
I ran over there the supervisors told me to stop but I couldn’t I was too busy thinking of the worst thing that could of happened to my dad. I reached his window and start banging on the glass I found a break and broke the window so I could unlock the door. I pulled my father out of the car and cradled his lifeless body in my hands, my heart, pride, and dignity sinking with his soul. I began crying as if all the tears I haven’t shed were waiting for this moment. I was pissed and so very hurt I wanted to kill whoever killed my father. I felt so awful and wanted to stay with my father in my lap.
But then the supervisors pulled me away and I started fighting and wanted them to let me go. I felt like a little kid. All of my hopes were gone.
4 days later
I returned to school then. I was so upset that I didn’t come to school for 4 days. I was still mad. When I walked in everyone was surprised. They thought I’d never come back. That brightened my day a little bit because the underestimated. Not anymore. But then I felt sad all over again.
I sat down in the back today. When the teacher was talking about careers again I raised my hand.
“Yes Michael?”
“I don’t want to be a ball player no more”
“I’m changing lanes I’m gonna be a police officer and avenge those who lost the ones dear to them”
My teacher smiled and said “Good choice, Officer Johnson”
Changing lanes
“Mom the game is on!” I yelled.
“Comin!”
It was play offs season and the family was rooting for the Chicago Bulls. I was so excited because my idol, Derrick Rose, took his team all the way to the playoffs. We were watching the game cheering the Bulls on. Those were the times when I wanted to play pro ball. Later on in life I changed my mind because something big happened three week later.
2 weeks later,
“ I want everybody to stand up and tell me what they want to be when they grow up,” My teacher said
Everybody stood up and gave what they wanted to be and the teacher would tell their chances. When it came around to me I simply said,
“I wanna be a ball player”
“ Do you, Michael?”
“Yeah,”
“Did you know that’s exactly what the government would expect from you? They think black men have a natural instinct to just be everybody’s entertainment. These are the things they never tell you. Only 1% of the people that try for the NBA actually get in.”
“I don’t care about all that. I’m a real good ball player I’m gonna be in that 1% How bout that?” I retorted.
I felt disrespected and infuriated the whole day and then when the day was over I went to practice playing ball.
1 week later,
The day was over in a flash. I was happy about it to. I was still mad at the teacher for dashing my hopes so bogusly. Plus, my dad was picking me up to day so we can go to the park to play ball. As I was sitting down, I saw my dad’s car two blocks away. Then, I heard some gunshots and everybody got down. When it stopped I got up and looked at the scene. I saw my dad’s car in a wall.
I ran over there, the supervisors told me to stop, but I couldn’t I was too busy thinking of the worst thing that could of happened to my dad. I reached his window and start banging on the glass; I found a brick and broke the window so I could unlock the door. I pulled my father out of the car and cradled his lifeless body in my hands, heart, pride, and dignity sinking with his soul. I began crying as if all the tears I haven’t shed were waiting for this moment. I was pissed and so very hurt I wanted to kill whoever killed my father. I felt so awful and wanted to stay with my father in my lap.
But then the supervisors pulled me away and I started fighting and wanted them to let me go. I felt like a little kid. All of my hopes were gone.
4 days later
I returned to school then. I was so upset that I didn’t come to school for four days. I was still mad. When I walked in everyone was surprised. They thought I’d never come back. That brightened my day a little bit because the underestimated. Not anymore. But then I felt sad all over again.
I sat down in the back today. When the teacher was talking about careers again I raised my hand.
“Yes Michael?”
“I don’t want to be a ball player no more”
“I’m changing lanes I’m gonna be a police officer and avenge those who lost the ones dear to them,”
My teacher smiled and said, “Good choice, Officer Johnson.”
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